April 10, 2005 - Celebration Recognizing Gay and Lesbian Long-Term Relationships - Father Andrew Green

PSALM: 67
FIRST READING: Colossians 3: 12-17
SECOND READING: Matthew 5: 1-16

This is a charge. That means it is directed at you, and the rest of you get to eavesdrop, including the choir.

God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, welcome. God's chosen ones, holy and beloved.

We have folks here who have been together from 3 years to 49 years - and just two months shy of 50 years. We have approximately 50 or 53 couples here, and we have a couple of others that snuck in and didn't register today, but I guess I want to know, did you get your picture? When you all got together, all those years ago, did you get a picture? Susan and I got a picture. I want you to know that, because of the photographer that we chose, this is the only picture that we have of our wedding. All the stuff in the Church got trashed, and, in fact, the official picture that went in the newspaper, we posed for two months later, sitting on a log in her parents' back yard. Now, I checked it out and asked our 49-year couples if they got their picture. There is Tom O'Mara and Ron Durkop from about 49 years ago. There is Joe Lowth and Ray Martinez from about 49 years ago. I have to note that, in his picture, Ray Martinez looks a little bit like Austin Snyder-Jewsbury and just about as big in this picture - 49 years ago!

Did you get your piece of paper? We got our piece of paper. We actually lost it, and, because Susan's insurance decided they had to audit us, we had to write to the State of New Mexico and get another copy, which we also had to do for our son's birth certificate. He's ours! We got our picture. We got our piece of paper. Most of you probably have a picture or two, but there are very few of you that have a piece of paper. Chris over here and Steve have a piece of paper from the State of Vermont. Tom and John have a piece of paper from the State of Massachusetts. Others of you may be in the same boat, but the rest of you are kind of living in between; and, in a sense, that is where our Scriptures today are. That reading from Colossians is very much a kind of already, right-now kind of picture of what life is for couples and what is needed for couples. Susan and my youngest daughter was married last Saturday in this Church, and the Colossians reading was one that she and Brian chose for their service. I picked it for this because I thought it was a wonderful story about what it takes to be in relationship; because the world around us is actually - as religious as they want to get, they are not really interested in the heart of these religious issues. Colossians tells us a lot about the heart of these religious issues - about forgiving each other and sticking with each other, about loving, about letting the Word of Christ dwell in us richly - that is what relationship is about. And that is the part that those of you who got the picture but maybe didn't get the piece of paper - that is the life you are living and have been living.

And then there is the not-yet. There is the no-piece-of-paper-yet. There is the "you are in a group of 200 people who are letting you know that they affirm you and love you and will do everything in their power to support you, as they will have an opportunity to do in a few minutes, but you have no piece of paper."

We had a wills workshop in the Church this morning in the Parish Hall, and, if you don't have a will, if you don't have a living trust, if you don't have, don't have, don't have all of these legal remedies, in the end you may have nothing. So, there is a real not-yet to this, and it is something that stinks.

Matthew talks about that. The Beatitudes are perhaps the most read Gospel in the Church - the Roman Church, the Episcopal Church - it shows up about three times every year on Sundays. It is Jesus' sermon, and, of course, most of us are not really real connected to this Gospel - "Blessed are the poor in spirit; blessed are those who mourn". Those of you who are in the middle of mourning or have mourned a lost loved one recently, you don't feel comforted right now. There is this not-yet quality about it. There is a quality about it that talks about the justice that God is going to bring, but God has to bring it, because it isn't here yet. As people of faith, as people of compassion, as people of love, we all live in that in-between peace. We don't all live equally in that in-between peace.

My wife and I have been married now, it will be 28 years this summer, but we didn't get there by ourselves. I can think particularly of some couples - Richard and Judy, who are good friends; Fred and Marsha Theobald; Grant and June McGregor, who ended up being godparents for one of our children - we learned so much from those people about what it meant to be married. Last night, I was blessed to hear Sidney Poitier speak, and he talked about how he got to where he is on the shoulders of the folks who went before him. He offered Jamie Fox; he said, "Jamie, you are welcome to my shoulders as long as you need them, and, while you are up there, keep an eye out for the folks who are going to be needing yours."

Susan and I did not get here except by standing on the shoulders of people who have gone before us. None of you got here, and none of you got to this place where you are in your life and relationship by yourselves, but there were people surrounding you and before you, on whose shoulders you have arrived. There is a world out there that is hungry for shoulders of faithful, committed, loving people to model - gay and straight - everybody needs that kind of a model. The world out there needs to see that there are people that are willing to stand up for what is at the heart of faith and spirituality - what is at the heart of relationships. St. Paul in the Desert and the Episcopal Church, though we may not always agree on all the political ramifications of things, we have made statements that we want to lift up the values of intimate relationships, mutual love and respect, good honest communication, the desire and the ability to see in the other the image of God that leads both of you to grow in holiness. We want to lift that up for all the couples out there in our Church and outside the Church. I believe that you all provide a model that our world never gets a chance to see. You all provide shoulders on which the rest of the world needs to be invited to stand - not to stand oppressing, but to stand like a leg-up, so that they can see where they need to go for their lives to get there.

I want to thank you. I want to thank you. Everything from the beginning, despite the fact that I think Susan's parents didn't like me - everything from the beginning went for us. Everything in the beginning was organized to make things right for us. Even driving down the street with "Just Married" put in soap on our windows, people were honking at us and supporting us. Many of you, if people have been honking at you, it wasn't to support you. If they have been waving, it wasn't necessarily with all ten fingers.

I thank you, and I honor you for sticking to it when you didn't necessarily have the support of but maybe one or two others. And I want you to know that this is a place that will support you, and this is a place that agrees with Sidney Poitier that, with that shoulder, comes a responsibility. With that blessing that all of us are asking for, with that blessing that all of us claim comes a responsibility - the responsibility to be the light of the world, the responsibility to let no one put a bushel over that light, but to let your light so shine before all of our community that they will see your good works, your good relationship, your faithful life, and give praise to God in Heaven.

AMEN